When Summer Ends and You’re Not Ready
- How to cope with seasonal change, disappointment, and emotional eating
Introduction: Coping with the sudden shift into autumn
Today I’m going to talk about how you can cope with the sudden shift into autumn.
Hi, this is Shelley Treacher from Underground Confidence. I help people cope with the emotional and psychological sides of overeating or comfort eating. What this means is that I work with a lot of emotional difficulty, and how to cope with it.
A personal story: Preparing for change you didn’t expect
I’m going to start by telling you a little story.
A couple of weeks ago, I was invited to talk on BBC Radio 5 Live. Whilst that sounds really exciting, and believe me I was excited, it never actually happened. I was totally unprepared technically, and perhaps a little bit nervous.
To cut a long story short, I kept missing the call when they were trying to get me online.
But I can’t help thinking that the subject they wanted me to talk about was actually very relevant here. They wanted me to help convince someone who was very cynical about the joys of autumn and winter to feel better about it.
When I first heard this, I thought, “I can’t do this. I’m not too happy about winter coming myself.”
But I got to thinking. I used all the skills I’ve got, and I even asked around on social media what people do to adjust to autumn and winter. By the end of the three-hour show, I was utterly prepared.
So dear listeners, you are blessed with the fruits of my labour.
Why seasonal change can feel emotionally hard
Today is all about how you can adjust to a change that perhaps you weren’t really hoping for.
A couple of weeks ago, when autumn arrived with an abrupt clang, it suddenly got really cold in England. We’re governed by the seasons here. Even if we don’t have children, we know when the beginning of term is. There’s a vibe at this time of year.
This year, we had a great start to summer, but the rest of it was a bit rubbish. You could almost feel the disappointment in the air. Summer was over. It was time to go back to school, back to full-on work, and it was getting colder and darker.
Then, just as everyone was adjusting, we had a massive heatwave. Lovely in some ways, but I don’t think we were ready for that either. And now it’s cold and windy again.
I can’t believe I’m talking about the weather so much. I think this might be the first time I’ve been very typically British and talked about it, but it really does matter to us.
Disappointment, expectations, and how our minds react
Let’s start with challenging your thoughts.
One of the things we might be dealing with here is disappointment. But if you’re really honest, something is always disappointing in life, isn’t it? Life isn’t what we see on social media. Things happen, and we rarely get exactly what we want.
A way to cope is to acknowledge how you feel, and then shift. You can take control by focusing on what isn’t disappointing.
Try not to assume you’ll be depressed. You can retrain this way of thinking. Generalising isn’t helpful. Take it one step at a time. What are you really dealing with here?
No day is ever the same all year. The light has been changing since June. The weather shifts constantly in England. So maybe it’s not one big thing that’s difficult, but the belief that there’s a sudden drop into misery.
Watch out for that kind of mental “brainwashing” and take back control by asking:
What isn’t awful? What’s okay?
September as a psychological new year
Disappointment comes from expectation, so notice what you’re expecting and whether it’s realistic.
Breathe. Take it in. Feel the disappointment, and move on.
September has a renewal vibe in England. It’s almost like our New Year. So ask yourself:
What new project, idea, or way of being could you explore?
We’re never just one thing. Misery, resistance, and appreciation can all exist at the same time. And you do have the ability to influence some of what happens for you.
Rituals, boundaries, and embracing the season
One suggestion that came from social media was to have a ritual to mark the change of season. To invite autumn in, rather than resist it.
For me, that meant embracing the cold.
During the heatwave, I worked too hard and couldn’t think clearly. I kept telling myself I’d go wild swimming, but never quite managed it. By the weekend, I was frustrated with myself.
So I made a plan. As the heatwave ended, I went wild swimming five days out of seven. The irony is that it cleared my head completely.
My boundaries are now much firmer. I stop work at a certain time, and swimming has become a priority. I’ve had beautiful experiences, conversations, and even swam with cows.
I end the day thinking, “I’ve done something really good for myself.”
Simple ways to appreciate autumn
I know wild swimming isn’t for everyone. But can you think of at least two things you could embrace about the season?
Here are some ideas people shared:
- Walking barefoot in leaves
- Photographing trees
- Crisp hill walks
- Hot water bottles
- Hot tea outside on cold mornings
- Autumn smells like soup, gingerbread, mulled wine
- Twinkling lights
- New pyjamas, jumpers, blankets
- Being cosy
Someone also pointed out that sleep is often easier at this time of year.
There are seasonal activities, shows, concerts, and light displays to look forward to. Something happens in our eyes when we see red leaves or wide landscapes. It calms us and makes us feel good.
Letting go of resistance
If you keep telling yourself, “I hate winter, it’s dark and cold,” try imagining those thoughts placed on a boat, drifting gently away.
You could write them out with your non-dominant hand and burn the paper. Or breathe them out and let them go.
Closing reflections and invitation
Today I’ve talked about coping with seasonal change, managing disappointment, and finding ways to adjust gently.
Next week I’ll talk more about managing change in general.
I’d love to hear from you. What helps you adjust to the seasons? You can share via the Underground Confidence app, social media, or by email. One of my September intentions is to have more conversations. That really feeds me.
If emotional or comfort eating is something you’d like support with, you can start with my free course on the Underground Confidence app. I’m also gauging interest in a six-month comfort eating recovery programme.
Thank you so much for listening. This has been Underground Confidence with Shelley Treacher.
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